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Matt had been one of the first people Angelique met when her family first moved to Canada, and he was a good friend throughout highschool. An even better boyfriend. Their relationship probably would have become so much more, but college had come into play, and Angelique was off. She went to the United States for it, college in California, where it was hot and warm. She'd never planned on becoming a werewolf, but from what she found, there were a fair number of people who got turned against their will. She had to drop out of college for a year, moving to a town in Montana to learn to control herself. It was hard at first, but eventually, she found herself, learned to live with the wolf, to function as both. There was a pack in Canada that was more than willing to let her live with them- closer to where her family lived, but still far enough away that she wouldn't have as easy access to them. Being closer was nice though, she was in the same timezone, at least. Getting used to her new pack meant she was often unable to travel, her parents came to visit, but Matthew, who she'd kept in contact with on and off, was too sick she found. When she found out he was in the hospital, she finally made the trip into the city. It was a lot of sounds and scents she still wasn't used to, and the hospital smelled like death and illness... Seeing Matt, looking weak, and smelling ill, was harder than she'd ever imagined. Telling him she might know a way to help him- something the doctors wouldn't know about- had been hard too. Even more than that, going back to the pack to explain it to Elizaveta, getting the Alpha to agree to help her... It was a bit easier than she had feared. But getting Matt to make the trip, to trust her, had taken work, he was sick enough to want help, but once he was there, and saw them, it seemed to settle in his head. She was afraid at first, to let him see her changed. Matt had been so close to her- she felt like they could be close again... but changing shape was hard, so while other's showed him both forms, Angelique avoided it out of fear he would look at her differently. When the full moon came, and it was time for him to be changed- for better or worse, it was Angelique's responsibility. She changed with the others, and finally saw him through the wolf's eyes. Her head bowed a little, tail lowered, eyes skimming over him first, nervous, afraid to meet his eyes.

In his twenty two years of life, Matthew had never imagined he would end up here, in some isolated woods three hours away from his hometown in Ontario, facing a pack of what seemed like really violent, really big wolves. He never thought he would be desperate enough to believe in some way that fairy tales were real, that people could turn into monsters under the moonlight and that one of his best friends from childhood was one of them. But then again he had never thought he would get sick like he was, so young, a brain tumor was supposed to happen to people in the movies, people you heard about in the news or from people that knew people, not for a lively nineteen year old that was living through college. And yet that's what had happened, he'd collapsed in biology lab one afternoon, and after that his life had never been the same, no one was very optimistic, it had gone undetected for so long, and progressed so fast, that most doctors feared he wouldn't make the year. As it was he had lived three more, after fourteen surgeries and most of it spent in the hospital and hooked to machines. But the tumor had come back, and with it the seizures and the episodes when no one recognized him, when he yelled and screamed and couldn't help but spew the most horrible things at people. He had given up, refused the chemo treatment, he didn't want to live like this, not anymore. But something changed that was out of his reach and more within the supernatural realm, something nor he or his doctors could have predicted. It had all started with Angelique coming down to visit him in the hospital, after one of his worst episodes, he'd been tired and half gone that day, barely recognized her. But she kept coming day after day, until Matthew was alright enough to hold a conversation with her. She seemed like the same tiny girl he'd fallen in love with in high school, along with the strong sassy attitude she carried with her everywhere. Matthew had almost been sad that they still got along so well after six years, because he was dying and there was no future for them, even if he wanted one, no wat to get those six years back. It happened after another seizure that left him with a coma for three days, that Angelique told him he knew a way he could get better. At first Matthew thought she was talking about alternative medicine, or maybe a religion she had joined in the time they had been away. He told her no, but Angie hadn't listened to that, she had told his parents that she wanted to take Matthew on a trip, probably his last one. His parents didn't have the heart to argue with her. Angie had brought a doctor she knew from the group she was taking him to, and they had driven Matthew, hooked to oxygen machines and IV fluids to the Canadian wilderness. And that's when he learned what this was all about. When he had first heard it, it had been so hard to believe, werewolves really? A really tall imposing girl that proclaimed herself leader of the pack had given him all the details, from the full moon transformation, to the immortality, the hope of a cure for his disease; but Matthew hadn't believed a single word. It didn't matter how sick he was, these people were all crazy, even Angie seemed to be. He'd been ready to call his parents so they could pick him up, but then they had shown him, one minute the woman was a woman, the next she was twisting and turning with blood and hair and skin in the floor, and then there was a wolf. Matthew saw the same eyes she had seen on the woman, but in the wolf instead. Even the most skeptical person would have believed after that, it was either real or Matthew's disease didn't let him recognize reality from the hallucinations he saw sometimes. And if that was the case then it didn't matter. He had listened to every explanation once again with a different perspective, believing every word, and he had seen them all transformed, all except Angie, a group of distinct, colorful, dangerous but affectionate wolves. He'd been introduced to the conventions and the workings of the pack, though he was told he would not understand it until he was one of them. And finally they have asked him, one day after dinner, everyone had gone quiet and Angelique was by his side, clutching his arm, and they have asked him if Matthew wanted to become one of them. He had a seizure that night and the answer in his mouth the next morning. Yes, he wanted to. And now he was here, in front of Angie's wolf for the first time, the whole packing staring at him, watching him. He'd been told to strip, and Matthew had peeled off every layer, his ribs showing the bruises and scars of so many different medical procedures like tattoos on his skin. He had been told he might not survive the change, but Matthew knew that didn't matter, he was going to die anyway, one way or the other, this one seemed like the better option.


It wasn't the first time that the pack had done this. Angelique had seen a few people take this path while she was here. Most often, they were related to a wolf, or attached them somehow- a boyfriend, a fiance. Matthew and her hadn't dated since highschool. They had parted ways nicely, it hadn't been a painful break up, other than the knowledge that they were breaking up and wouldn't see each other for a while. She'd been persistant in seeing him when she came back, especially when finding out he was so sick. It had been painful to see him ill, pale and thin and weak. Made her heart clench, as it did now, as she stood before him on her four paws, tail lowered. She'd made this happen, he would either survive, grow strong and live, or he would succumb to the pain of the change and die by her attack. Ears pressed down against her skull, Angelique looked up at him, finally, golden eyes peering at him nervously. The attack had to be ferious, she had to taste his blood and feel him give in under her. It was hard to look at him, and tell herself to do it. The pack was there, some changed, like she was, others holding off with strength she didn't have. It took a nudge from Elizabeta, before Angelique could bring herself to do it. She was quick, jerking forward, jumping a little to sink her teeth into his forearm, feeling skin and muscle give way under her bite, the taste of his blood filling her mouth- making her feel nausous instead of excited like it might with any one else.

Waiting was the worst part, even in the hospital room, waiting for surgery, waiting to die, it was all tiresome. He liked things to happen quickly, painless, this is why he had chosen this in the first place, if he were to die at least it would be quick, and not months or weeks or days away. But even in her wolf form, Matthew could see there was fear in Angie's eyes, hesitation, and he even wonder if she would do it or if someone would have to take over. But the doubt didn't last much longer, Matthew barely had time to react when she launched herself at him, he reacted on instinct putting his arms in front of himself as protection. But it didn't matter, Angie sunk her teeth into him, hard on his arm and for a moment nothing was as intense as that pain, nothing he had ever been through, the seizures, the coma, the surgeries, everything seemed tame in comparison. A scream ripped through his lungs, Matthew tried to pry her away, to move, he tried to stop the bleeding he could feel sliding down his arm. He felt to the ground with a loud thud, it hurt between his eyes, the rocks scraping his back.

The sound of his scream made her head and heart ache. She folded her ears down and held tight as he fell towards the ground, growling softly, mostly out of instinct. She didn't let go until Elizabeta nudged her, and when she drew away, it was with a whimper. She lowered herself down, belly brushing against the ground, the taste of his blood still on her teeth. The others moved in, not enough to crowd, but close enough to all see. Elizabeta stood the tallest, Angelique half laying on the ground beside her, waiting with baited breath, fear burying itself inside the smaller wolf. Angelique was one of the smallest in the pack, surrounded by them, with fear and worry washing over her, it was hard to feel even half as big as she was. Instead, she watched Matt, afraid to take her eyes off of him as he writhed on the ground in pain.

By the time Angie had let go of his arm, Matthew almost didn't feel the pain anymore, all he saw behind his eyelides was black, there was a pounding achyness in his head that wouldn't relent, and he felt strung up and rigid as if he were to have a seizure. There was blood on his arm.. or rather was was left of it, Angie had sliced through muscle and bone, and if Matthew were to survive and be human he wouldn't be able to use his arm again. Not that that would happen, they had given him two options, convert or die, and he intended to keep it that way. He writhed and squirmed on the floor, pained sounds coming out of his mouth like a bad symphony. He smelled the dirt and the blood he was losing every second. Some part of him told him to let go, that this was it, that he could finally be free. And Matthew was so tempted to listen to just jump off and let the blackness wash over him completely.


Everyone was silent, unmoving, and Angelique was hesitant to move, afraid to do so. Slowly, carefully, she stood, staying low, but able to move. She brushed against Elizabeta when she moved forward. She avoided the arm she'd damaged, but her paw landed in blood that was pooling on the ground, and she very gently brushed her nose against Matt's cheek, giving a soft whine, she didn't stay long, afraid to be touching him for long- she knew how painful it could be to change, the first change the worst of all, and how bad it could be to be making physical contact as it happened, but she settled down on the ground near him, close, so he could feel the warmth of her near by, without touching him, making soft whimpers, trying to push back her worry, to be close and let him know someone was.

It felt like poison, slowly going up his veins, as if something were taking over him, something dark and twisted. Matthew wished he had just outright passed out instead of being in this weird state between dead and sleeping. Every drop of blood he lost just added to the feeling of weakness that had permeated his body since he'd gotten sick, the brain tumor was exhausting, like sucking the life out of him every moment from the inside out. And the wound felt much the same, as if it were draining him of its last bits of energy, taking it away in each drop of blood. Matthew groaned loudly, he could feel someone's breath next to him, and hear the noises all around him, from quiet whispers, to soft whimpers, and small growls. He shook his head as in a bad dream, and his body started seizing again, suddenly there was pain not just on the wound, but everywhere else too. On his legs and his arms, on his teeth and his face, on ever organ and muscle, his head felt like it was going to explode. For that moment, Matthew wished he was dead, and he didn't realize he had said it outloud, screamed it to no one and everyone, a loud letany of just 'kill me'.

The screaming was horrible. Angelique tried to do her best not to completely shut down at the sound of it. But she whimpered and felt Elizabeta press close to her side. On her other side, she could feel Raivis moving close, but Angelique didn't pay them much mind. Instead, she watched Matt, could see the change falling over him, the blood spilling quicker, the shift of muscle and the crack of bone. She could see fur beginning to grow in some places, and waited, watching him. No one would touch Matthew until it was through, they would let him change and rest for a while. Once it was done, Elizabeta would be the one to greet him first. As Alpha, she would be the one to assist him in those first few moments, but Angelique would be close. He would largely be Angelique's responsibility until he was in full control of his wolf. She whined and whimpered, finally having to press her face against Elizabeta's fur, not able to take the screams.

A crunching sound made Matthew stop with the screaming, at least until he realized it was the sound of his own bones breaking. The pain of it must have been awful, scruciating, but somehow Matthew's limbs were numb, the pain he felt was in his brain, in his head, it was mental rather tahn physical, it was his body breaking itself apart from the inside out. That's the moment he realized the bite wouldn't kill him like he had silently hoped, instead it was changing him, morphing him into the monster everyone around him was. Matthew felt it in the pull of his jaw, the bones breaking and becoming elongated, he felt it on his skin ripping, the epidermis growing millions of hair follicules more than he normally had, his ears falling like mere leaves muscle instead growing upwards to create new ears; and his teeth, his teeth were the worse, he felt them one by one, falling to the inside of his mouth, he could feel himself swallowing them and tried to stop himself but to no avail. His gums were raw and he could taste blood as new sharper teeth started to push their way out of his flesh.

Angelique didn't have to look to know how the change took over, how horrible it was. The very brief reprieve of his screams was welcomed, until they started again just a moment later. She could easily remember how raw her throat had been once it was over her first full moon. The pain of it would lessen in time, though never fully go away. It was a horrible feeling, one's body changing and growing and shrinking, and many couldn't handle it. She feared he would either, but his screams were a sign that he was. He was surviving it, at least so far. With a great deal of reluctance, Angelique pulled her face away from Elizabeta's fur, and pushed up to her feet, she shifted, anxiously, watching Matthew and whimpering. Raivis stood with her, letting the white of his pelt brush against, trying to give some comfort, but it went over her head, her mind too focused on Matthew and the pain he was feeling, the knowledge that she'd convinced him to go through with it. She knew, logically, that if he survived tonight, he would never really feel ill again, but reminding herself of that now, as she could hear the crunch of his bones, and smell his blood, still taste it in her her mouth, and hear his screams, it didn't help the worry and guilt and fear that she'd led him to a painful, horrible death.


Every single one of Matthew's fingers broke and twisted making themselves shorter, the muscle more powerful, the nails fell off like they had been glued, and sharper stronger claws tore through the newly shaped muscle. His body itched as the follicules began to sprout fur, his eyes felt like they were about to fall off their sockets as they became bigger, rounder, the pupil making itself anew. His internals oragans too were changing, his intestines twisted and rearranged themselves, his heart shrank and his veing expanded, his lungs laid sideways instead of upright. An apendage of muscle broke through his tailbone, making him shout in pain, but it didn't sound like a human shout anymore, it sounded like the cry of a wounded animal. His tongue came out lolling out of his mouth, it was longer than he remembered it being, rolling oout into the ground, tasting grass and dirt and water. Matthew's breathing was shallow and quick, his heart beating so fast it threatened to come out of his chest. A rush of air made him see white under his eyelids, and then he knew nothing anymore, not the sound of the wolves around him, or the taste of the grass underneath. For that moment his heart stop, his mind went blissfully blank, the pain slowly disappeared, he had never felt more alive in the past five years than he had there, lying nearly dead.


Shifting her weight, Angelique gave a low whine when Matthew went still. His wolf form was beautiful, large and white, but there was blood on his fur, from the open wound she'd left on his arm, and his stillness frightened her. No one moved, everyone waited, Elizabeta standing up again. Angelique tried to stay back, knew she should, until the Alpha showed some sign, but she had known Matt far longer than she had known them, and she'd brought him here to save his life. She couldn't stand the idea of laying in wait. Moving forward, she shifted low again, belly brushing the ground, and gave a low whine near his muzzle, sniffing at him, and trying not to touch him, ready to spring back should he move, but close enough to be righ there if he woke.


It happened all at once, like a bucketful of cold water on his head. His eyes opened suddenly, as if waking up from a terrible nightmare, but something was wrong, something was different. Matthew's senses were suddenly overwhelemed, his nose felt clogged up, so many scents were coming to his nose, the grass, the rain, the clouds, the sky, he hadn't known the sky had a smell. He also smelt sweat and animal fur, his tongue tasted the grass under him and the dirt, tasting a hoard of flavours he hadn't known were there. Panic took over him, fear like he had never known, grabbing at his throat, not letting him breath again even though he was perfectly capable of it. He tried to stand up, but his legs were not the same, his arms were not there anymore, he had limbs alright but he didn't know how to move them, how to work with them. He was shaking and squirming and wriggling around, until a cold nose pressed against his side, Matthew went instantly still again, looking up expecting to see Angie's white wolf, but instead the sight of a big imposing brown wolf greeted him, with eyes so deep and black Matthew instinctively recoiled, his new ears flat against his head.


As soon as Matthew began to move again, struggling to figure out his body and how it had changed and how to move, Angelique ducked back, ears still lowered, though her tail began to wag. He was alive! He had lived through the change! That knowledge made her want to jump and bark and howl in pleasure, but Elizabeta had moved before she could, moving into his gaze and and waiting for him to fall back. Angelique had explained it to Matt before night had fallen. She'd explained that he would need to submit, Elizabeta was the Alpha, and to be part of the pack, he had to accept that. He had to show submission. The instincts would be there, what to do, but she had told him anyway, lay low, show his stomach, so submission. Anxiously, Angelique stood beside Elizabeta, back a few steps, in a position she would not have held any other time, normally lower in rank in the pack, and watched, praying Matthew would remember, and act correctly.

There was something like fear brewing inside him, he could feel the pressure of many other souls pressing him down, he didn't know how to explain it. As of they had some sort of power over him. Angie had told him about it, about the hierarchy of a werewolf pack. How some of the wolves would be more dominant than him, that he would have some a part to play in the pack, a position and htat he should respect it. At first Matthew had thought Angie was exaggerating, but now he understood that he hadn't understand, that it was all true, and it wasn't only a fact of pact society, it was ingrained in his new biology. Even before being able to stand, he felt the compulsion to to press his new ears and tail down to his body, as a sign of he wasn't sure what, but he guessed submission. His body wriggled again, as the trickle and pain passed, its aftershocks still a bit too fresh all over him.


Relaxing a little as Matt reacted well, Angelique loosened her stance a little, and waited, her ears lowered, for Elizabeta to do anything. Everyone waited, watching, as the Alpha moved forward, and dipped her head down to brush her nose against Matthew's, an intimate move, but one of welcome. She turned from him, showing her trust and moved away, glancing at Angelique for a moment. Angelique took the sign as she wanted, and moved forward, slowly, until she was close enough, stepping slowly, so as not to startle Matt, or overwhelm him, she waited until he seemed to relax a bit, before letting her tail wag, and moving forward to brush her own nose against his, then bumping her forehead to his, while he was low enough. He was so big, even in wolf form, she always felt tiny with Matthew, but it was still a bit of a surprise how much so she still felt with him, even in this form.



It wasn't only so many different flavours and colors and smells, but also so many different feelings and sensations. His head was barely raised from the ground when he felt a cold wet nose pressing against his face. The Alpha's eyes greeted him again and Matthew quickly looked away, but the touch of her nose felt reasurring, he felt pride and warmth inside of him, it was almost invigorating. And by all means, it made no sense, but somehow the approval of that wolf felt good. Once she left, Matthew made another attempt to stand up, falling to the groun with a small thud the moment he got his hind legs to support him. There were at least ten wolves watching him, and he recognized Angie right at the front, she pushed past the crowd and into his space, and Matthew no longer felt the urge to recoil and hide. It was so much comfortable being with her than the other wolf had been, less oppressive.

With Matthew looking more relaxed, Angelique brushed against him, letting her side brush his, before she slid easily, ducking her head under his, and giving a pleased, soft yip, nuzzling at him. She'd been warned he would be shakey, and probably a bit weak, just as they'd told him, it might take time to adjust, a bit more than for others, given how ill he'd been. But she was sure he would get back to himself quickly enough, and she would be patient. She looked forward to seeing him going back to being healthy and capable, and knowing he'd be okay. All the guilt and fear melted away as she breathed in his scent, the scent of illness fading away.

Matthew wanted to laugh, he wanted to call out Angie's name when she pressed so close to him, that he could feel her fur. But the sound that words would have made turned into growls and howls of different intonations. He stopped himself his ears raised up in alarm at his inability to articulate, but everyone else around him looked amused, and how did a wolf even look amused, but Matthew knew that's what it was, he could read it on their faces even if they were not human. And what was more strange, he could smell it, amusement was sweet with a tangy edge, like sour candy menlting away in the tongue. He scrunched up his nose at the scent and as an experiment he put his nose closer to Angie's side, taking a whiff, smelling her fur. She smelled sweeter than the rest but there was something foul lurking underneath that he couldn't identiy and it distressed him slightly.

There were so many things that Matt would have to learn to get used to. The new scents being only one of many. She knew it took time, and she was so glad he was here, with the pack, where they all understood and would give him the time needed to learn it all. That they would all help, when she needed them to. Angelique nuzzled against him, doubling her efforts when she smelt the distress forming in him, washing back over the excitement he'd had a moment ago. Tilting her head up, she licked at his muzzle, and butted her head lightly against his, a soft motions, to grab his attention. She knew her scent still lingered on all the fear and worry she'd felt. She wanted to let him know that she was okay, but it was harder to do with someone who wasn't used to reading body language yet.


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fixitpixie

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